In search of a fair and spotless skinned girl with a height of 5’5’’, having an hourglass slim body, long hair, big dough eyes, full plump lips, and an exceptionally well-kept record of low pitch soft voice! These are the expectations for a girl to enter wedlock. But this mission to attain these mystic characteristics is a lifelong grueling project entirely controlled by patriarchal actors placed in institutions exercising control in personal spheres. Here we sail through the rough journey(s) lying at the crossroad of somewhere finding ourselves and how society rolls out a picture for us to be molded in it, but we choose our long-lasting self worth instead.

It is a common and perhaps universal fact since eons, that women have been told to fit in a socially manufactured frame of imagination best suited for the physique of a woman. The features of a “perfect physique” ranging from the bottoms in a particular shape, not a very heavy chest, an ideal height which is just sufficient for standing next to a boy, a specific weight that is attractive to a tone which resonates well with the traditional mannerism of a girl, and so on. A girl from an early age is instructed by her mother or a larger family to behave in a certain way which implores softness and displays cautious conduct.

Any deviance from this set pattern is marked as a flaw that one has to concentrate all powers in getting rid of. The rebelliousness on the other end to step outside and vehemently oppose the frame is met with humongous unfair backlash often leading to self-esteem issues. This might come across as an exaggeration from an emotional standpoint yet it remains a silent and unknown reality that goes deep down impacting as to how one perceives the outlook of oneself. This squarely falls within the vast and sensitive area of self-esteem which leads to prioritization of lenses of the world which pierce the body over the true lens of one’s worth which loves the body.

Conversations around body positivity have been more vociferous in the past few years than they were earlier. Body positivity is not just being comfortable with what the outlook of one’s physique is but also guarding it against uninvited attention and gaze as well as not caring about what other people have to say about your body.

The heartless comments that flow out can come from various direct or indirect channels or agents of communication. It can be from beauticians, neighbors, relatives, seasoned tormentors or even random strangers who will tell you that your hair is very curly, who will pass remarks on your weight, the natural fat, despise your unusual height and without even realizing will go to the extent of becoming dermatologists by declaring that your skin is beyond repair unless you use beauty products to shine! This sober yet hurtful policing makes people slouch in the discomfort that one may feel with their own self causing significant damage to self-esteem.

The concept of body positivity in fact has become more clear from the conversations that have ensued. It has laid bare what people have been dictating on the social constructs whilst considering themselves to be well within their capacity to try and hammer down someone into what their idea of a woman is while encroaching upon the dignity of the individual. The dignity of an individual entails that a person has full autonomy over the unique anatomy one is blessed with and is entitled to non-interference of any kind which pertains to matters of one’s body. Someone trying to hammer it down to bring it in sync with the societal construct of an ideal woman’s appearance is certainly maring the dignity of the woman. Body shaming does not limit itself to merely contouring or defining physique but also extends to policing the diverse physical attributes of an individual like the way one speaks, carries oneself, the natural pitch that one is adorned with.

It is a common belief that a woman’s decibel level has to resonate with softness. It is considered desirable. The basis of this consideration is not permitted to be openly discussed which is that women are consistently conditioned to be submissive, hence the soft voice is bound to supplement it. It is precisely because of this very reason that when body-shaming is directed against a female, the expected reaction is that of “tenderness” and not one which musters the courage to reply with a straight no-nonsense attitude.

It is a cyclic process of body shaming that happens at every age and stage of a woman’s life. Right from the time when a girl enters puberty pacing towards the years of adulthood wherein, a girl transforms into a woman. This transformation however benefits the patriarchal mindset and framework.

People who excessively indulge in body shaming in their defense give it a gender lens immediately because of the stark and obfuscated inherent bias, thus undermining the true fight which is of reclaiming autonomy over one’s own body. The whole thrust of body positivity is being able to be confident enough that an individual manages to emerge happily from the grueling ordeal of body-shaming is. The magnifying glances of the society onto physical attributes of a woman’s body deeply scar the self-esteem of an individual. The obsession with fair skin, slim body, always looking well dressed while gushing up poise and tenderness in a girl’s demeanor to the point of exhaustion is the hallmark of patriarchal society laying down thresholds and limits to tame the other gender into socially pleasing behavior. It is as if one is made to blame oneself for the way one’s body is. It paves the path for puncturing of confidence, which accrues from the comfort one attains with a complete outlook of oneself striking at the apathy of the society which has always looked down upon the spirits that have generated solidarity of self-worth. The way body shaming brings down self-confidence is portrayed as a complex psychological phenomenon but it goes down straight at the root of a person’s being.

The most effective retaliation to the menace of body shaming is embracing the concept of body positivity wholeheartedly. It naturally radiates the lost and subverted self-confidence in a woman which is very conveniently perceived as unnecessarily antagonizing towards the other gender. It has an unequal basis of logic.

Body shaming mirrors the society while body positivity helps one to stand tall in the face of apathy meted out by society. To come out of the menace of body shaming, the only remedy is to rely on the inner beauty of one’s strength. Body Positivity is being unfazed by unwarranted comments on your body and its outlook or attempts to tie you to a narrow but self-assured definitive confine of what beauty is. Someone trying to plaster upon you, a false and pretentious idea of grace is going down the road of endless societal pressures that no one till now has catered to fully. By not succumbing to this mounting pressure of body shaming, you fight a disease, not just for yourself but so many around you who are crushed beneath the apathy of body shaming.

Written By: Simran Kaur
About the Author
Simran Kaur is a law student and legal researcher, driven towards Public Policy. She seeks solace in writing and is an Associate Editor of University of Bologna Law Review, Italy as well. She is a staunch advocate for Gender Equality and hence found her calling in TARA’s mission.