Recently an advertisement came out with people interviewing for the ‘toughest job in the world’. The conditions were as follows. It required the employee to be standing up most of the time without any breaks. They would have to wear several hats like those of medicine, culinary arts, and management. They would need impeccable negotiation and interpersonal skills. And the best part about it? There would be no pay!

You can imagine the responses of the interviewees. They ranged from “This is unbelievable” to “How cruel”. But the truth is that billions of people around the world are doing this job. Billions of women. And especially mothers. From grocery shopping to cooking and cleaning, doing laundry, and taking care of children and elders, women are doing it all. Not only is this the toughest job in the world, but the most important fact is that it’s not a job at all! It’s just the bare minimum required of all women. 

Gendered Division of Labor

The gendered division of labor refers to the division of roles and responsibilities among individuals in our society based on their genders. A woman’s primary roles are defined in terms of the family and her activities are expected to revolve around domestic life. On the other hand, men are viewed as belonging to the public sphere which contains power and authority. Thus, male activities are the ones that dominate society. 

The subjugation of women has been present in Indian society since ancient times. In the Manusmriti women were relegated to a subservient position. They were deprived of education and their primary duties revolved around worship and service of the husband, even if he was not a person of virtue. While boys were encouraged to study and train, girls were expected to partake in homemaking. Such a division meant that learning, participation, and power were not shared with women. 

In many Indian societies, traditionally women were thought to be dangerous because their bodies were capable of polluting. For example, menstruating women were often subject to restrictions like staying out of the house or stopped from interfering with religious rituals lest they pollute them with menstrual blood. Such ideas have always supported female segregation and prevented their full participation in society. 

In Hinduism, many female goddesses are worshiped such as Saraswati, Lakshmi, and Durga. Their worship is a display of great female power. But while these Indian goddesses are mostly viewed as equal and in some cases even superior to their male counterparts, this is not reflected in the Indian social structure. While motherhood is greatly respected in India, women are still not equal to men in the social sphere.  

In heterosexual relationships, the women’s contribution to domestic work is expected and invisibilized instead of being valued and recognized. Women are constantly engaged in unpaid domestic labor which has many negative consequences. Since this type of work does not come with any fixed timings or holidays, women are left with almost no time for personal care or leisure. Thus women may suffer from a lower quality of life than men while the economy and country prosper at their expense. It is also important to note that if men hold economic power, they are also in charge of decision-making in the household. This prevents women from having a voice or equal say in matters relating to the family. 

Everybody belongs in the kitchen 

Let’s take a better look at one of the many roles a woman is supposed to fulfill for free. Cooking is seen as a part of nurturing and caregiving and since these traits are associated with women, the job of feeding the family also falls on them. Now while cooking is essentially seen as a woman’s job, you need not look further than the common sexist line, “Women belong in the kitchen”, it’s interesting that this only holds true until the role also brings money and status. Research shows that while women make up only 10% of executive chef positions, men make up around 80-90% of professional chefs. Thus, while billions of women are doing this job for free, it’s alright, but as soon as men step into the kitchen, it’s viewed as a profession. 

I believe it’s time we stopped viewing cooking as just another plus point for a girl’s marriage prospects and start seeing it for what it really is. A life skill. Equally important for men and women to learn. Men cannot depend their whole lives on the women in their lives to cook for them. It’s also unfair of men who can hardly boil milk or whose sole contribution to the kitchen is to enter to pick up some beer, to expect their wives to cook full course meals for them. On the rare occasion a man does offer to help his wife in the kitchen, he might be as useful as a badly trained golden retriever and lead the woman to say, “Never mind. I have it under control”. 

Of course, there are some men who may occasionally enter the kitchen to cook their one specialty dish. This would usually happen 2-3 times a year when guests are expected and with extravagant production. At the end of this, they would expect such high praise that one might think they had found the cure to cancer!

It becomes difficult to fight gender biases like “Women belong in the kitchen” when even companies like Flipkart promote them. This year, on International Women’s Day while around the world brands were promoting themes like ‘Break The Bias’, in India, the e-commerce company did precisely the opposite. A promotional text message was sent out to customers stating, “Dear customer, this women’s day let’s celebrate you. Get kitchen appliances from Rs. 299”. 

Double burden and the motherhood penalty

Let’s assume that after the numerous challenges of family and societal expectations, a woman manages to retain her job post-marriage. Unfortunately, she is posed with what can only be called a “double burden”. Even though both the husband and wife may be working, it’s expected that the woman will come back from work and cook for the family. The husband would of course be exhausted and must regain his strength in front of the television. In case the woman is unable to manage her work and the domestic work, it’s expected that she drops the former in favor of the latter. This is because unpaid care work is an indispensable factor contributing to the well-being of families and societies. In terms of the home, women are always assigned the task of household managers. They might delegate work to men (since they rarely offer to help) or if a woman is privileged enough to afford domestic help, the task of giving them instructions still falls on her. 

After the birth of a child, women may also face the motherhood penalty in going back to work. They might be hired and promoted less often since they are viewed as less committed or competent than their male counterparts. Tulika, 44, mentions that returning to work after having her child took a toll on her. She saw how the men at work had it much easier and felt that being a mother held her back somewhat at the workplace. Furthermore, being a working mother allowed her less time with her child and thus she felt that she lost out on both aspects, as a working professional and a mother. Sukriti, 22, also mentions that her mother who was a computer engineer had to give up her job after her second child. This has prevented her from being financially independent and she is looking forward to an empty nest when her children go off to university and she can start working from home again. 

The worst part is that women who are able to handle both a successful professional life in addition to child-rearing and domestic responsibilities are viewed as superwomen. They are glorified for being able to handle everything together and portrayed as role models for girls. No one stops to ask these women how they feel or if they might need some help. It’s assumed that they are able to handle everything and feel good while doing it. 

The path ahead

Labor may be defined as any work that one could pay a third party to perform. Domestic labor is an intimate form of labor that is essential to keeping any family unit intact. Labor surveys have shown that women in India do around seven times that unpaid care work as compared to men. Furthermore, feminist economists have conducted studies that revealed that the total value of time spent on domestic work and unpaid work by women in India is equivalent to 39% of the country’s GDP. 

The redistribution of household and care work is important to achieving gender equality. While this article has focussed on households with an unequal distribution of labor, there are still many households out there who are on the right path. Take the example of Tulika, 44, and Biswajit, 43 who have been married for 14 years and have an 11-year-old daughter. While Tulika looks after the cooking and cleaning and supervises the domestic help, Biswajit has done the laundry since the day they got married. At times when there is no domestic help, Tulika might cook but Biswajit would do the dishes. The responsibilities of child-rearing are also equally divided with both husband and wife taking their child to various daily activities and helping her out with homework. 

Men like Biswajit are not fictional and do in fact exist even in India. They help without being asked to and shoulder the household burden. It’s time we all learn to do the same and recognize the value of women in our lives. 

Written by: Arushi Chopra

About the Author

Arushi Chopra is a sociology and environmental studies graduate from FLAME University. She has worked with Teach For India as a fellow and loves interacting with children. Arushi is passionate about topics surrounding gender, education and sustainable development. She has joined TARA in an effort to create a more gender equal and aware society. In her spare time she loves to paint, trek and spend time with horses.